So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
