Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize