Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
