Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey it's Austin.

  (254): View more from Texas

  I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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  (210): Hey it's Austin. (254): I am not drunk enough for this conversation. http://tfl.nu/124v
  Replies (29) Good night (979) Bad night (1947)
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  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1046) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.

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  (512): Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/4hqu
  Replies (30) Good night (8190) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

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  (906): Dude, I think my check liver light just came on http://tfl.nu/539i
  Replies (29) Good night (7726) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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  (717): fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/l3zn
  Replies (40) Good night (5411) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

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  (410): I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx http://tfl.nu/s1q1
  Replies (30) Good night (2432) Bad night (3911) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

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  (504): I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee http://tfl.nu/ouc6
  Replies (23) Good night (5638) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.

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  (619): It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car. http://tfl.nu/xdru
  Replies (3) Good night (2805) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..

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  (815): It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar.. http://tfl.nu/fcka
  Replies (0) Good night (1256) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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  (914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q
  Replies (1) Good night (1122) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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  (541): Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either. http://tfl.nu/a1p0
  Replies (9) Good night (1837) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.

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  (850): His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ofwy
  Replies (10) Good night (1718) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.

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  (740): Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon. http://tfl.nu/2uoq
  Replies (8) Good night (365) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense

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  (724): I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense http://tfl.nu/8zya
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Again, totally unrelated

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  (902): On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel (902): Again, totally unrelated http://tfl.nu/6fey
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (193)

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