planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...