I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.