problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
