I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
