I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.