I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.