John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
