I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
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I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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