I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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