just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
