how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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