I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
