New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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