youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs