Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
where am i from again
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....