Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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