I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants