i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
