? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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