gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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