my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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