and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
high people should be assigned attendants
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So many bounce houses so little time
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize