The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
