i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
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Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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