The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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