I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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