writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
