sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
