Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
