My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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