he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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