If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
