What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
