Rock
Scissors
Fuck
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
