I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
