I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they call him Oral-B. enough said
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
