you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.