how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal