the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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