Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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(517): They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what." http://tfl.nu/ufo0

Replies (3) Good night (1931) Bad night (553)
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(815): View more from Illinois

yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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(815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe

Replies (14) Good night (4310) Bad night (800)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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(902): you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken' (1-902): well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone http://tfl.nu/o9f8

Replies (8) Good night (2515) Bad night (578)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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(301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe

Replies (32) Good night (5614) Bad night (1167)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

(417): View more from Missouri

I can't feel my brain.

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(417): I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison. (417): I can't feel my brain. http://tfl.nu/qap9

Replies (11) Good night (1869) Bad night (4125)
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(813): View more from Florida

sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.

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(813): sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it. http://tfl.nu/etd4

Replies (7) Good night (3046) Bad night (759)
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(301): View more from Maryland

OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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(301): OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/e5zg

Replies (9) Good night (811) Bad night (2725)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

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(304): High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/jxf6

Replies (14) Good night (1992) Bad night (608)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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(770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7

Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (1412)
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(772): View more from Florida

How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?

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(772): How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer? http://tfl.nu/kmhe

Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (496)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin

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(970): Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin http://tfl.nu/mrds

Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (586)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.

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(513): Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now. http://tfl.nu/fv9l

Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (513)
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(352): View more from Florida

Do you have paint?

(727): View more from Florida

Paint? I wish

(727): View more from Florida

OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING

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(352): Do you have paint? (727): Paint? I wish (727): OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING http://tfl.nu/qyml

Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (425)
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(708): View more from Illinois

At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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(708): At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall http://tfl.nu/xpwv

Replies (5) Good night (332) Bad night (817)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.

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(443): I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste. http://tfl.nu/1x8j

Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (371)

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