You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
