What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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