Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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