I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
