lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
