i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
