I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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