some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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