I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
