would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I am available for nakedness
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
