Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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