Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
