Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i came on her dog
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
