U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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