Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
