Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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