I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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