Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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