Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
