ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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