i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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