This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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