i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
