Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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