***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
