By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
