hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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