He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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