please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
