He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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